Collapse
by prettytwistedG
Summary: It's funny, how one simple event can lead to so much pain. Magnus had never fully realised it before he left Alec. Alec could never have understood it before he met Magnus. So what will happen when their worlds begin to collapse? The first 3 chapters are a bit slow, I promise it will pick up! Disclaimer- All characters belong to Cassandra Clare
1. Chapter 1

Magnus turned his back and took a few steps into the shadows. His loose hair grazed his eyelashes as the tears began to fall, sticky and salty down the bronze of his cheek.

He walked on silently, not wanting to explode out of Alec's life like a slightly lack lustre firework. He couldn't do that to Alec. He couldn't do that to himself.

The pitch of the corridor seemed to stretch on far too long as he made his way back to the street, each step grew heavier than the previous, dragging longer and slower as the seconds passed.

The warlock trudged forward in black silence, he could vaguely hear noise from down the tunnel and his mind shifted. What if he's hurt? The mental cry hit Magnus deep in his stomach, doubling over, a sudden release of a breath he wasn't aware he had been holding escaped his battered lips. He could be running after you! Magnus winced and his feet twitched. That definitely wasn't true. Resisting the urge to turn back, he pushed himself forward and clambered onto the street.

The brightness of the real world arched down on his aching head. Cars buzzed in the distance and trees rustled tirelessly in the breeze. The warlock felt his legs give way as the tears began to fall. It's done. It's over.

In the dark of his room, Alec laid motionless.

Within the space of the past ten seconds, he had forgotten how to breathe and his heart cracked viciously in his chest. Outside his door, Jace, Izzy and Clary tracked down gear, blades and holy water. They were making an awful racket which wasn't helping the piercing pain in his left temple.

Alec got up and observed himself in the mirror on the wall. After finding Maureen in the station, he had fought his way out, loosing his left sleeve and some skin from his back in the process. The shadowhunter peeled the tormented shirt off and threw it in the corner. His boots came next, each hitting the floor with a satisfying thud as he freed his feet. Sore and bleeding, Alec climbed under the covers of his bed and returned to his comatose state. He didn't need an iratze tonight, the pain blocked Him out.

Silence. Jace, Izzy and Clary had obviously gone after Maureen, even his mother and her guests were non existent within the walls of The Institute. Alec sighed and cringed at the memory of the afternoon. Darkness. An apology. Tears. A kiss.

He focused his attention to the scratch of the sheets and the solid mattress beneath him, remembering old dreams and forgotten memories. The bed was too hard, the room too dark. This wasn't home. He could never go back home.

'Oh by the angel!' Alec screamed, throwing his pillow across the room as the wound on his back reopened. Fresh tears rolled softly down the side of his face as his wispy voice shattered the silence, 'What have I done?'.

He fell backwards onto the mattress and let the tears fall. The blood beginning to pool underneath Alec's shuddering body. Hours past, the tears giving way to sobs, which eventually faded to silence.


	2. Behind the door

**A/N: thanks to those who favourited and followed, it means a lot.  
This is my first fanfic, as you can tell it's mostly Malec...but don't worry, other characters will make appearances. It takes place after City of Lost Souls so there will be some Sebastian/Jonathan/Maureen etc at times but it won't be a big focus.  
As usual all characters belong to Cassandra Clare and please review/follow/favourite!**

**prettytwistedG**

**P.S I didn't want to put an A/N on the first chapter (I find it really off putting :/)**

3 Months Later

CRACK!  
The point of Alec's knife dug deep into the back of the door. Once again he stood, stepped steadily towards the hilt of the knife and freed it from the splintering wood.

Alec stared at the polished surface; it was now littered with the inch long, centimetre deep wounds that the knife created.

_My aim's improving _Alec thought to himself as he turned on his heel and went back to his spot at the end of the bed.

Before taking his next shot, the shadowhunter paused to listen to the conversation occurring on the other side of the door. Well, half conversation, no one seemed to be replying.

'What do you mean there's nothing you can do for him'!

Jace.

'I know it's not exactly your job but you're a silent brother!'

CRACK! Alec threw the knife.

'By the angel, he's not getting better! He's barely left his room in 3 months!'

Alec returned to his feet to reclaim the knife. Outside the door, Jace's tone shifted.

'Please...if not him...' Alec could almost see his parabatai's flippant hand gesture '...what about you, Brother Zachariah, there must be something you can do for him.' Jace waited for the silent reply.

'Thank you. We can't cope without him any longer. Isabelle...she can't loose another brother.'

Alec heard Jace walk away and assumed the brothers had followed.

Returning to the bed, he scraped the remaining blood from the blade and then tucked it into his boot.

The cuts on his forearm stang still, but they had stopped bleeding. Alec tugged his sleeve down over the raw skin and secured the material in place with an elastic band. His family knew he wasn't doing well but there were something's he could spare them.

Alec unlocked the door and tiptoed into the expanse of the corridor. Shutting the door behind him, he headed in the direction of the kitchen.

_Alexander_

Alec suddenly wished the Silent Brothers didn't know his full name.

_Your brother wishes me to help you._

'And how do you plan to do that?' Alec snapped, taking even himself by surprise. Brother Zachariah's face remained flat and cold.

_I can't, unless you want to be helped._

The confusion must've been clear on his face because Alec didn't expect what Zachariah said next.

_I assume you remember how to draw an iratze. Your arm needs some attention._

Alec froze. How could he know that?

_When you are healed, I will help you._

A tear rolled from his eye, suddenly remembering the night in the tunnel. Those cat eyes vanishing into the darkness.

'How?' Alec whimpered, his voice a barely audible whisper.

_I will tell you the truth._

With that, Brother Zachariah left, leaving the blue eyed shadowhunter in somber silence.

Alec wiped away his tears and remembered to breathe. Steadying his focus, he continued towards the kitchen; Zachariah's words echoing in his ears.


	3. Behind the boxes

**Hello all! Sorry it's taken so long to update, I had a really hideous week :/ here's chapter 3, Magnus POV and it takes place directly after the events of chapter 2. Please review/follow/favourite (it makes me want to write more!)**

**Enjoy!**

Magnus dropped carelessly onto the sofa; he was exhausted.

Around the expanse of his living room brown boxes concealed the colourful contents of his apartment. Everything from clothes to spell books were packed tightly away and sealed with too much duct tape.

It had taken hours to pack everything by hand, but using magic didn't seem right. He was leaving, and hopefully not coming back for a long time. Using magic would've been too easy.

From behind a stack of boxes labelled 'Clothing: Leather', the warlock heard a pitiful meow. Clambering to his feet, Magnus trudged over to free his cat from the cardboard barricade.

Chairman Meow looked confused, even a little angry. The undersized cat was sat perfectly still on top of a lone box; his eyes locked firmly on his flamboyant owner.

Magnus reached down to retrieve his cat. When his hands reached the ball of fluff, the cat hissed, scratching the warlock across the back of the hand.  
He let out a subtle growl as his owner drew back, his hand already healing.

Magnus was stunned. Chairman Meow had never been purposefully vicious. Angry and at times, more than a bit thick at others, but never vicious.  
"What?" He demanded the cat who had returned to steadily eyeing his owner.  
"Did I forget to feed you again?" It was highly possible. Magnus wasn't particularly sure where the cat food was, yet alone if he had used it recently.

Chairman Meow remained unchanged.  
"Fine then!" Magnus snapped, "Don't tell me!" He turned around, suddenly wanting to do nothing but sulk on the sofa and think about where he was going to send his things.

That's when the scratching started.

Magnus didn't react at first, he remained on the sofa hugging a limp cushion.

The cat obviously wasn't giving in that easy. The scratching became louder and more brutal to Magnus' ears; increasing in speed until finally 'snap'.

Silence.

He sat up and removed the various cushions from around his head.  
Peering behind the leather clothes, only the single box remained. No undersized, overly annoying cat remained. Just empty space.

Magnus smiled and laid back down, using the cushions to prop up his head and closing his glitter smeared eyelids.

"SHIT!" Magnus yelled, his eyes springing open fast enough to send glitter flakes flying onto the cushion he was leant on.

_I know I was thinking about giving him to that crazy woman down the street, I wasn't actually going to! _The warlock thought to himself, suddenly realising what he had done.

He sat up and pulled on the shoes he had left next to the sofa. "She has enough cats! A whole trolley full for Lucifer's sake!"  
This was taking too long. Magnus gave up on his laces and used magic to tie them.

"If that hag has turned Chairman Meow into a hat..." Magnus was halfway through his sentence and almost out the door when he heard it. Purring. Rough and muffled, but purring none the less. He slammed the door and tiptoed back over to the lone box his cat had been sat on. The cardboard was still as dull and intact as ever, but the tape told a different story.

Ripped apart by a mad yet undersized animal, the box was now open and through a gap in the top Magnus could hear the soft humming of his cat.

Not wanting to wake the Chairman-who would probably bite him- the warlock slowly lifted one flap of the box just enough to reveal the pale grey fur of his cat...fast asleep upon the worn and faded tangle of a jumper that had once been black.

Magnus lowered himself slowly onto the floor and pulled his cat from the box. He didn't wake, he just purred.

Several minutes passed before Magnus placed Chairman Meow on the sofa and went to reseal the box.

Alec had never come back to get his things. As the days had turned into weeks the warlock had accepted his shadowhunter wasn't coming back. _I don't blame him._ Magnus thought to himself, gazing up at the mountains of boxes. It seemed that both halves of that doomed voyage were trying to drift as far away from the other as possible.

The shadows grew thicker as night began to fall, but Magnus remained unmoved from his spot on the floor. His mind drifted back to those rare nights in Idris, their first public kiss and their trip around the world. It all seemed so long ago now. _Oh the perks of immortality. _Other memories sprung to mind, faded and slow after the months of being ignored. It made it all the more painful.

Magnus was shaken from thought by the echo of the buzzer. Checking his watch, he stumbled over to reply, pulling strands of his loose hair back from his face and wiping the glitter from around his cat eyes.

"You've reached Magnus Bane, Paris' Best Dressed 1845 and former High Warlock of Brooklyn. Go away before I set my dog on you."

On the sofa Chairman Meow let out some odd sort of squeak. "Yes, you." Magnus whispered in reply before focussing his attention back to the buzzer.

"You don't have a dog. You barely have a cat." Eugh, Blondie. The warlock sighed internally.

"Don't mock the cat." Too bored and miserable to come up with anything better to say to the arrogant brother of the shadowhunter who betrayed him.

"Let me in then."

"No."

"Let me in."

"No, Blondie. Piss off. If you want to speak to me make an appointment."

"Ooh touchy." That's it. Magnus snapped his fingers and the unique sound of quacking resonated through the speaker in the wall; followed by an all too pleasing squeal, the odd 'By the angel!' And a series of colourful profanities. A minute or so passed but Jace Lightwood eventually made it back to the speaker.

"That was unnecessary." The shadowhunter sounded ruffled."I'm hear on clave business Magnus, let me in."

"What's the magic word?"

"Abracadabra."

"Sorry? You want some more ducks? Of course!"

"No. Magnus Bane, please can I come in?"

"All you had to do was ask." He pressed the button on the wall and opened the door ready for the golden boy.


	4. Behind the breakup

**A/N So here's the next chapter. It should hopefully get a bit more interesting now the boring set up paragraphs are over (thank you for continuing to read this!) **

**I have a vague idea of where I would like the plot to go from now on but please review and leave suggestions! **

**This one changes POV half way through, enjoy!**

"What do you mean you're leaving?!" Jace yelled. The golden eyed shadowhunter was now on his feet and had begun to pace sporadically around the pillars of boxes.

"You can't leave! What about Sebastian and, you know, THE MORTAL WAR!" Everything he said was matched with various hand gestures and at times stomping. Magnus regarded the flippant child in front of him but refused to move from the sofa; he was just going to wait for the storm to end.

"I know you broke up with your boyfriend. Boo hoo." Jace spat. "There are bigger problems right now!" He could see the shadowhunter take a breath as he perched on a low stack of boxes.

"I can't even touch my girlfriend for fear of hurting her. You can't just leave because one idiot Lightwood did something stupid." Disappointment oozed from those golden eyes.

"You threw someone who loved you away." Jace paused, "Don't punish the rest of us because you want to punish him."

Anger flickered in Magnus' stomach, _don't react_. The warlock exhaled slowly, but said nothing, angering the nephillim further.

"Or maybe this isn't about Alec. Maybe the problem is you."

Magnus locked eyes with the shadowhunter, seething silently.

Jace laughed. "I always knew you were unpredictable." His laughter stopped as he rose to his feet.

"But I never took you for a bloody coward."

Magnus cracked. In the space of a second the warlock was on his feet and Jace was pinned to the wall.

"As usual Jonathan, you fail to listen."

Jace looked confused, he wasn't even attempting to get free of his invisible bonds.

Magnus exhaled and began to re-stack the boxes that had been thrown around in the struggle.

"If-if you were listening," the cat eyed warlock stuttered, strength building in his voice, "you would have heard me when I said I am the _former_ High Warlock of Brooklyn."

His smooth voice was oddly calm as he turned away from the shadowhunter who was still splayed across the wall.

"I'm leaving because I've been told to."

Magnus was no longer calm, he was angry.

" Because I wasted my precious High Warlock time patching up all your little mortal friends, my fellow High Warlocks reached the decision that my glittery brilliance didn't deserve the title, power, money... I could go on."

Magnus let out a short laugh.

"Apparently I play too hard and work too little."

He smiled at that._ Oh the cliché _he cried to himself.

"So they asked me to remove my leather clad derrière out of the city, at least until the war is over."

The warlock finished stacking boxes and turned back to Jace, who opened his mouth.

"Why didn't you fight back Magnus! This is your war just as much as ours."

"I AM IMMORTAL JONATHAN LIGHTWOOD! I HAVE NO PLACE IN YOUR MORTAL WAR!" Magnus roared, shocking himself.

He clicked his fingers and Jace landed lightly on the balls of his feet.

"Get out, and take that box with you." He gestured to the lone box Chairman Meow had been fascinated with earlier.

The blond picked up the box easily and headed in the direction of the door whilst Magnus retreated into the maze of brown columns; he heard the handle twist and door open.

"Oh... I forgot to say. They sent me to tell you that Camille is dead. It only just occurred to them that you might want to know, bearing in mind you haven't left the apartment in weeks it seemed unlikely someone would've told you." Jace smirked.

"Also, your hair looks a state."

Magnus just sighed, overwhelmed by how little he cared.

"Run along now Blondie, I have to pack my glitter."

**Alec POV**

Alec barely winced as the knife cut into his forearm. Blood dropped slick and steady onto the wood of the floor.

He had been considering Brother Zachariah's offer, but he had reached the conclusion that he didn't want to spend any more time with a silent brother than absolutely necessary. Even for the truth.

Punishing himself for what he had done made more sense.

He had hurt Magnus, the one being on this planet he loved more than a friend, or brother. He deserved to hurt. He deserved the pain, the scars and whatever guilt was continuing to eat him from the inside.

Alec focused his blue eyes on the knife, flipping it stealthily in his hand. The movement caused more blood to flow, drops patted gently on the ground: splat, splat, splat, splat...

"Alec?" Isabelle called, pushing the door open.

"Dinner is on th- Alec!"

She ran forward and pulled the blade from his palm. Alec remained petrified as she fell to the floor and pulled a stele from her boot. He tried to pull away but her thin, rough hand gripped his elbow as she drew an iratze onto his palm.

Her black hair draped over her face and she dropped her head forward, slipping the stele back into her boot.

Isabelle breathed slowly trying to contain her tears.

"How long?" She asked, her usually chiming voice was flat and felt grey on her lips.

"Two weeks after I found Maureen." Alec replied, his voice just as flavourless. He did nothing to stop the tears falling.

Pulling his baby sister to her feet, the blue eyed shadowhunter dragged her into an embrace. He had never meant to hurt Izzy. Never. But he had managed it just the same.

"Why Alec?" She sobbed into his shoulder, "Why didn't you ask me to help you?" Isabelle twisted her head so her black eyes met his blue ones.

"You could've come to me, I would've listened. I should've been able to help you."

The oldest Lightwood sibling collapsed his head onto his sister's shoulder, tears soaked into the thin black silk of her shirt. Her hands rubbed circles onto his back as she let him cry. The seconds dragged out for what felt like hours until the sobs stopped racking his body.

"Why did I do it Iz? Why did I have to go and screw everything up?"

Alec's voice cracked and scratched as he spoke; Izzy could do nothing to help him in that moment, she just watched as her brother fell apart, piece by piece.

Minutes passed as he shouted at himself. Every word cutting deeper than any knife. Izzy listened until he stopped, then she drew a breath.

"We're going to get you better. You are going to move past this and I will help you in anyway I can."

Her voice was soft and felt almost unnatural in the silence of the room.

Alec closed his eyes. He didn't notice Izzy pulling the stele from her boot, he just felt the rune being drawn on his back.

"What are you doing?" He asked, blue eyes begging for an answer from his little sister.

"I'm making you stay here." Isabelle pulled away from her brother and began to leave the room.

"That rune will prevent you from leaving The Institute...at least for the next few weeks at least."

Alec's head shot up, but he didn't leave his position on the bed.

"What! Izzy, you can't! You can't just lock me in here!"

"I can and I have." She paused, her hand on the door knob. "I don't want you getting killed because you're stupid enough to believe you deserve punishing. When you are...you again Alec, you may return to your shadowhunter duties."

Izzy opened the door and stepped into the corridor.

"Dinner's on the table." She shut the door and headed back towards the kitchen.

Alec could hear the click of her heels on the floor yet he remained motionless, eyes set on the view from the window.

It was overcast and the ground beneath was seemingly absent of colour.

**Hope you liked it! Please review/follow/favourite!**

**prettytwistedG**


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